So I get on a quick flight to Pittsburgh from Chicago O'Hare. It had been a long day and I just made it to the airport in time to make my flight.
The plane was an Embarcadaro. A little larger than a private jet with a row of single seats on one side and two seats on the other. My seat was on the single row side, 10A.
I stooped to get my 6'4" frame into the doorway of the jet. "Hi, good evening!" the stewardess said as I got on. "Watch your head."
"Yeah, I don't want to knock myself out" I said with a smile.
"I would have to put you off the plane."
"Since I will be knocked out, you will have to drag me off the plane and I will wake up still in Chicago! That wouldn't be good."
Anyway, so I walk to my seat slowly because everyone seemed to be taking their own sweet time getting to their seat.
As soon as I sit down I feel that sense of relief that I always feel when I sit down on an airplane. My busy schedule means that I always have a million things to do before I leave town. Even if I am leaving on business like this trip to Pittsburgh. In order to get the million things done I usually have only gotten a couple hours sleep the night before and had several meetings to attend during the day before heading directly to the airport. So you may be able to understand my sense of relief when my butt hits that seat.
As the airplane is taxiing towards our runway for takeoff I ignore the safety directions by reading my Wall Street Journal. If my six year old can fasten her seat belt so can I, so I don't have to listen right? The airplane lifts off and its' business as usual.
Once we are up at 10,000 feet or so I remember the snack cart going by headed for the front of the airplane. Once she got to the front of the plane she started working her way toward the back row by row. By the third row I faded away to sleep.
Sleeping comfortably or soundly on airplanes has always been a challenge to me. When I fall asleep I dream about the damn plan going down so every little bump makes me jump. Somehow, in this instance I have gently fallen into a slumber with no dream. Only peace while my body exhales.
Suddenly, I feel a pain in my knee. Well not even a pain just a hard bump and it shakes me awake. In one motion I lunge forward a let out a bitchy yelp/scream!?!?!? WTF?
At the same time the stewardess says "Oh, I'm so sorry."
My damn knee was sticking out in the aisle and the stewardess hit it with the snack cart but in my mind the slight pain in my knee was the first thing I felt as the plane was going down! My worst fear is that the plane goes down while I am asleep and I don't have time to repent.
I obviously screamed, or whatever I did, loud enough that other people could hear because at least four people in front of me turned and looked when I screamed like bitch.
I think the old lady in front of me turned looked and smirked as she turned around, "What a bitch" she mumbled under her breathe.
Shameful. I put my fitted brown Dodger hat on nice and low for the rest of the trip and kept a low profile as I got off the plane.
"Have a nice day" she said, but then mumbled, "next time don't scream like a bitch!"
That's All I Got!
I'm Out!!
44Black!!
