1 Real Thought and a bunch of Randoms

I feel like I am doing this thing without a blueprint.....Life that is....I have no Father to speak of. My Grand Father gave me what he could in just a few years before he passed. There is no one to turn to and bounce ideas off of. No one who has done this thing before. You should not miss something that you never really had right? But somehow I do....and I think many of us Black Men do and that is why it is so easy for us to go astray. We are often in search of something and we don't know what it is. Sometimes it is confidence, self-esteem, hope, an opportunity, happiness and so on. Point is it could be anything only we don't know what it is. We are just in search of....I think the search is for the blueprint.

Problem is I have to write our my own blueprint because I don't have anyone to give me theirs. Thing is their blueprint probably won't work for me anyway because that blueprint probably follows the plan I referred to in my previous post to this one.

I am thinking on all of this because I saw that movie "This Christmas" today. The movie was OK 'cute' I guess. Soul Foodesque I guess you would say. The thing that struck me is that I may be missing an opportunity in my immediate family to create tradition. My extended family has some tradition but I don't feel like we have much in my house. Certainly that is my responsibility, right? Part of it is that we are a 'blended family' and sometimes I feel like we have so much to fight through just to be together and stay sane.

Maybe we need to travel and interact with the extended family more often. My wife really stresses about that until we get there then she is OK. But maybe we have some tradition. Let me think of some:

• Each X-mas we buy an ornament on the day after Christmas for next year's tree. We have been doing that for years now
• If it is your Birthday you choose the restaurant
• I set up the tree
• We go to one of my Aunt's or Uncle's cribs for Thanksgiving (memorable stories - especially the one where the Jehovah Witness portion of the family who showed up empty handed and ate and took everything including the Carmel Cake on top of the fridge)

I am sure there is more but I that is all I can think of. We certainly have the characters for interesting family gatherings but I guess I am referring to everyday stuff too like eating together. Sometimes I am so wrapped up in my own shit that I withdraw. I am too busy becoming the Black Trump and figuring out who 44Black is to keep pulling everyone together. That's wrong. I need to address that issue.

Our family has some serious characters. I will hit that on another blog. Meanwhile I have some very random thoughts.

• I have ex-friend who is 6'7" and had sex with a midget
• Same ex-friend who let a girl with a nub hand give him a hand job
• Same ex-friend masturbates while driving
• Another friend who had sex to make $$$ to buy a car (as an adult with a degree, not a poor college student (this is a great story that I am not allowed to tell - sorry)
• Michael Vick will never be the same, would you after giving away $143 million?
• Got pimped by wifey last night. Gave her the chocolate banana split. She finished and had me go sleep with the baby. Payback is coming, stay tuned.
• My wife is keeping the price of X-mas quiet because she knows this is to be a low cost x-mas. I will hold back the black snake of west Chicago over this shit. All I got to do is hold out and she will be selling our kids on eBay to make that money back so she can get that lovin back!
• Winter time here is rough on nice dress shoes. So my wife bought me some rugged dress shoes for the winter.....I look like 'the goon' in these damn shoes. Herman Munster and Lerch would laugh if you tried to give them these shoes. I think it is a ploy to make me look goofy in public to protect the chocolate!
• My sister-in-law has moved to Chicago. More importantly she has moved in my house. I lost money on this shit. I just knew she did not have the balls to move here. Her dog moved too (next post)
• The holidays are hard on me.
• My sister and my wife are jealous of my relationship with my mother. The other day my sister said, "You are 50 years old, it's time to get off the tit". Funny stuff but I ain't 50.
• Tony Romo had his latest trick at the game (Jessica Simpson) and the Cowboys lost to suck ass Philly. Focus Tony, without football there would be no hot tricks in the stands for you...prioritize please!
• I am listening to The Commodores 'Sweet Love' amongst other things while writing this. Like Lionel say, "Put a little love in your heart, a little heart in your love!" How's that for old school?!
• Is there any other blog in the world that can mention Lionel Richie, midgets (little people), pimpin', prostitution, mobile masturbation, Michael Vick, Jessica Simpson and banana splits in the same post?
• BTW my sister has an extreme fear of midgets (little people). What's that called? Midgrachnophobia?

How's that for Random Thoughts.

That's All I Got.

I'm Out!

44Black