How Does Daddy Let His Girls Grow Up?
I am truly perplexed? How does a dad let his little girl, girls in my case, grow up? My oldest is 15 years old and I am finding it very, very difficult.
Never, until the last two years have I ever had any second thoughts about my transgressions as a growing boy. As a reformed dawg, I know game when I see it. When I don't see it I smell it. This leads to 'Daddy Paranoia', an illness brought on by a former or current dawg's past.
I always thought that when one of my kids reach the age of 15 I could tell some of the stories from my past. Maybe that was just for the boys? Am I sexist? I just know what the goal is for 15 and 16 year old boys.......panties!
So now I am on guard 24-7. I know, I know, where there is a will there is a way. Which means there is know way to stop these dirty dawgs from coming around my house. I know this is a war that cannot be won. Well, I may not stop them but I'm gonna take out, wound or mentally mame a bunch of them before it is all over with.
The last boyfriend is gone, not without big drama though. Now the boy is trying to kiss my ass to get back in the door. Something 'stupid' (his name) should have been doing in the first place. He sends me text messages......Seriously, it's like a blog only on my cell phone. "Huh? What boy, I don't care about your life, especially now that I got you out of the hen house!"
My current strategy is to severely punish my daughter severely for each violation. This morning she got grounded for the rest of the summer because she had three too many Cheerios in her bowl.
"Do you know what 15 year old boys think about girls who eat too many Cheerios?" I asked.
She just looked at me like I had asked her a crazy question.
"That's it, you're grounded for the rest of the summer" I told her.
"Are you serious? I'm supposed to go swimming with my friends today."
"Swim in the tub the water is cleaner."
"But" She said.
"But nothin' you're grounded!"
"Mom, he is insane" she screamed as she went to her room.
Yea, I'm crazy like a fox.
Seriously, I pulled off a lot of capers when I was growing up and did not get caught very often. My daughter, seems to always get caught. Each time she gets caught it makes me more paranoid. More viligant aganist the enemy. Is it good to have a kid that is not sneaky enough? Maybe that is a reflection on poor parenting skills. If she was better at being sneaky then I would still think my kid is closer to being an angel than being me at that age.
Meanwhile, when dating begins. I will intimidate and threaten every dawg that comes around my house. I will have my guns on the dining room table cleaning them, whenever the enemy is due to come over. I have also considered sending two body guards with her to school rather than just the one I have been using since she was in 5th grade.
God has a sick sense of humor. The last thing I have ever needed is daughters. They love you and you love them until one day they are done with you. You go from being the teddy bear in their lives to being an ATM that happens to double as a limo driver.
That's all I got!
I'm Out!
44Black
Never, until the last two years have I ever had any second thoughts about my transgressions as a growing boy. As a reformed dawg, I know game when I see it. When I don't see it I smell it. This leads to 'Daddy Paranoia', an illness brought on by a former or current dawg's past.
I always thought that when one of my kids reach the age of 15 I could tell some of the stories from my past. Maybe that was just for the boys? Am I sexist? I just know what the goal is for 15 and 16 year old boys.......panties!
So now I am on guard 24-7. I know, I know, where there is a will there is a way. Which means there is know way to stop these dirty dawgs from coming around my house. I know this is a war that cannot be won. Well, I may not stop them but I'm gonna take out, wound or mentally mame a bunch of them before it is all over with.
The last boyfriend is gone, not without big drama though. Now the boy is trying to kiss my ass to get back in the door. Something 'stupid' (his name) should have been doing in the first place. He sends me text messages......Seriously, it's like a blog only on my cell phone. "Huh? What boy, I don't care about your life, especially now that I got you out of the hen house!"
My current strategy is to severely punish my daughter severely for each violation. This morning she got grounded for the rest of the summer because she had three too many Cheerios in her bowl.
"Do you know what 15 year old boys think about girls who eat too many Cheerios?" I asked.
She just looked at me like I had asked her a crazy question.
"That's it, you're grounded for the rest of the summer" I told her.
"Are you serious? I'm supposed to go swimming with my friends today."
"Swim in the tub the water is cleaner."
"But" She said.
"But nothin' you're grounded!"
"Mom, he is insane" she screamed as she went to her room.
Yea, I'm crazy like a fox.
Seriously, I pulled off a lot of capers when I was growing up and did not get caught very often. My daughter, seems to always get caught. Each time she gets caught it makes me more paranoid. More viligant aganist the enemy. Is it good to have a kid that is not sneaky enough? Maybe that is a reflection on poor parenting skills. If she was better at being sneaky then I would still think my kid is closer to being an angel than being me at that age.
Meanwhile, when dating begins. I will intimidate and threaten every dawg that comes around my house. I will have my guns on the dining room table cleaning them, whenever the enemy is due to come over. I have also considered sending two body guards with her to school rather than just the one I have been using since she was in 5th grade.
God has a sick sense of humor. The last thing I have ever needed is daughters. They love you and you love them until one day they are done with you. You go from being the teddy bear in their lives to being an ATM that happens to double as a limo driver.
That's all I got!
I'm Out!
44Black
posted by 44Black at 4:10 PM
1 comments
