Mortality

I am staying up keeping busy because I want to keep my mind off things. I am tired and ready to go to bed but that would be too quiet, Too easy for me to think. I found out to day that my mother has Glaucoma. It appears to have been caught early on so things should be fine.

I have to admit that I am a little shook up by it though. My mother is the only one who has always been there. Others have come and gone but she has always been there. I have kept myself busy all day so I would not have to think about it too much. Now I'm left with three choices for the rest of the night: 1) write 2) drink 3) sleep.......I think I will do all three in that order.

I always feel a little alone but I feel even more so right now. I guess realizing the mortality of someone who has been in your life for every day of your life can give you that feeling. I think I also have that feeling because I lost my grandparents when I was young too and they were like parents to me also.

I remember when my mom got her first apartment at the college she was going to. It was an old red brick building with white trim. My grandparents dropped us off in their white 4 door 64 impala. I don't think the electric was on yet because I remember thinking how much fun it was to be sitting and eating cheese, bologna and crackers by streetlight.

She worried about me playing football but then became my greatest fan.

Time for step 2.

That's All I Got!
I'm OUT!!
44Black